The Best Problem Solving Strategy Ever

In a conversation with a friend I was once again reminded that there is only one answer to fear of any kind: trust. Only then we will feel better and find a solution to our problem.

My friend has existential fears. Don't we all have them sometimes? Especially here in the US I think these fears are very understandable. But even in Germany I met people who, although they had absolute job security and were otherwise also relatively well-protected, suffered from terrible existential fears.

I know that my fears have mostly nothing to do with reality. I am talking myself into my fears. (I am not talking about anxiety that comes up when a woman faces a hungry lion in the Sahara. This is a fear that would be based on reality. And this fear might save her life.)

Probably many would argue that my friend's fears certainly are based on reality. Her boss will retire soon and my friend doesn't know if the successor will keep her. For months, she told me, she couldn't stop worrying about her future. Again and again her thoughts revolved around the same things: new boss, maybe no job, no money, no health insurance, she can't pay for her apartment anymore. She just couldn't think of anything else. Only her part-time job sometimes distracted her from these gloomy thoughts.

I could see how much her thoughts stressed her (because I didn't think it was the situation that stressed her, but only the thoughts about her situation). However, until our conversation she had not been properly aware of her fear. For several months she had felt this pressure and diffuse heaviness. But the fact that she now had a name for her feelings already seemed to relieve her a little.

I asked my friend if she could identify anything in this situation which could trigger a sense of confidence in her. I thought that would help her to fight her fear. She thought about it for a moment. To her own surprise, she suddenly noticed something she had not seen before. She had paid off a house in Georgia and could move in a pinch if she should lose her job (even though she really didn't want to move from Maine to Atlanta). In addition, the company for which she works is very large and she could apply in other national offices.

While these options were not optimal solutions for her, she was surprised that she hadn't taken these two facts into account before. She admitted that she didn't have to worry that much anymore because she could see that she had some security.

I think the ability to develop trust is the best problem-solving strategy in the world. To develop confidence in some kind of a higher power, the universe, or the fate that everything will turn out well always helps to relax. Trusting that everything that worries me now will not be the end but only a moment- a phase that will pass. Confidence that I can cope with whatever happens in my life. Trust is always accompanied by feelings of optimism, energy, strength and joy. When I am afraid I am usually stuck and can't come out of the hole into which I maneuvered myself. Trust opens my eyes and lets me breathe much more relaxed. I can then enjoy things in my life again that I otherwise wouldn't notice.

The challenge, however, is to find things or thoughts that can trigger a sense of confidence in me while I am afraid. But when I'm on the search for it I ALWAYS find something - just as my friend did. I only have to be clear about one thing. I have to look for TRUST.

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Find this article also in German - Die beste Problemlösungsstrategie der Welt - Die deutsche Version dieses Artikels